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Andrew Lloyd Webber and his 'original' songs

22/12/2014

Don't get me wrong, I'm actually a huge fan of Andrew Lloyd Webber. A lot of people seem to look down on his music, dismissing it as clichéd and 'safe'. In some ways, of course, it is. But that's because the general public like simple melodies and clichéd chord progressions.

There is nothing new nowadays. It doesn't matter whether you look at literature, art or music - pretty much everything has already been done to some extent. In Western music there are only 12 different tones; and so only a limited number of variations! I'm pretty sure every 'recent' melody you name can be already found somewhere within the wealth of written music generated over the last 500 years or so.

The video below is a tongue-in-cheek poking fun at ALW, performed live in a village pub. Originally written and performed by Kit and the Widow, with a few adaptions and additions by myself.

~ Memory from Cats sounds like Ravel's Bolero.
~ I Don't Know How To Love Him from Jesus Christ Superstar is an almost exact copy of a theme from Mendelssohn's violin concerto in E Minor.
~ The 6 note motif sung with "Jesus Christ Superstar" is the same as one from Richard Strauss's September.
~ Themes in The Music of the Night from The Phantom of the Opera sound similar to Puccini's La Fanciulla (for which ALW was sued by Puccini's estate and settled out of court) and Come to Me, Bend to Me from Brigadoon.
~ The accompaniment to Don't Cry For Me Argentina is a version of JS Bach's Prelude in C.

~ The first few notes of Love Changes Everything from Aspects of Love are identical to the ones from JS Bach's Fugue in E Major (Well Tempered Clavier Book II).
~ The super famous chromatic riff from The Phantom of the Opera is almost identical to the one in Pink Floyd's Echoes.

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Free sheet music to my piano composition 'Walk in the Moonlight'

15/11/2014

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You can download the sheet music (PDF) and have a listen to my jazzy piano solo WALK IN THE MOONLIGHT below. About grade 3 standard.

Walk in the Moonlight mp3 (listen)
File Size:	916 kb
File Type:	mp3

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Walk in the Moonlight sheet music (PDF)
File Size:	35 kb
File Type:	pdf

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Walk in the Moonlight - piano jazz composition by Matt Walker (grade 3+)

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The 'Redefinition' of Marriage (has happened countless times!)

6/11/2014

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I heard recently about Bryan Barkley, the elderly Red Cross volunteer dismissed from the charity over his gay marriage protest. He is absolutely entitled to his views (just as the Red Cross is entitled to dismiss him), however, his placard 'No redefinition of marriage' raises a common misconception. Some people seem to think that marriage is and has always been an unchanging institution, a union between one man and one woman. But this is not the case.

For centuries marriages in England were strictly religious - between one man and one woman before God. This changed only in the 20th Century with the advent of civil ceremonies, when God was removed from the union.

And if we look at traditional marriage as outlined by Biblical law we can see the institution has changed many times. Men could have more than one wife (but of course women could not have more than one husband). Marriages were almost always arranged, and fathers could sell their daughters into marriage as slavers could sell their slaves. If a woman's husband died she was required to marry his brother (Deut 25:5). And if an unmarried, un-betrothed young woman was raped she was required to marry her rapist (Deut 22:28-29). Luckily marriage, like other institutions, has been reformed by superior moral standards. So marriage has been redefined many times, and for the better.

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~ Happy Halloween! ~ Short Story ~ At Night She Lives

30/10/2014

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AT NIGHT SHE LIVES
by Matt Walker
First published by Dark Fire Fiction

“Why the hell is he coming with us?” Jay scowled through his white make-up at the younger boy.

“Because my mom said I had to take him.”

“Jesus, Ben.”

“Oh, leave off, Jay. He’s alright.” Ben put a hand on his younger brother’s shoulder. “He just wants to go trick or treating like the other kids.”

“Oh, well that’s just great.” Jay flung out his arms and his pathetic Dracula cape rippled in the October night. “Terrific. So we have to baby-sit an eight-year-old.”

“I’m actually ten.” Ben’s younger brother wore a hockey mask, though his voice came out small and not in the least bit scary.

“Ssh, Owen.” Ben shrugged his shoulders at Jay. His clothes were ripped and covered in fake blood. “He won’t be a nuisance.”

“He better not be. Hear?” Jay prodded Owen in the chest. “Hear?”

Owen looked at his feet and said nothing.

Jay turned back to Ben. “What the hell are you supposed to be, anyway?”

“A zombie, or something, I dunno. Just something dead and mangled.”

“You look like a heap of crap.”

“Well, you look like a woman wearing a face mask.”

Jay gave him the bird.

Ben grinned. “Come on, before it gets too late.”

“Too late? Your mom hasn’t told you to be back by 9 o’clock because of him—” he jabbed a finger at Owen, “—has she? We’re fifteen, Ben!”

“I know.”

“I’m ten.”

“Shut up, Owen.” Jay sighed, and his fangs nearly fell out. “Fine. Let’s get going then, if we’re going to bother.”

Ben nearly threw up his arms and said, “Fine—let’s not bother, you miserable git,” but he would never say something like that to Jay. Later, of course, he wished with all his heart he had.

They went from house to house and tried their best to scare the residents into handing over sweets. (“Or money,” Jay had said, “try and get money, Ben.”) Ben would knock the door with Owen and say, “Trick or treat,” and all without fail would obligingly hand over handfuls of unwanted chocolates and sweets that would soon be out of date or already were.

Jay hid behind the garage, willing a homeowner to say “trick”—possibly with a mischievous glint in their eye—and then Jay would jump out and scream at them and make them crap themselves.

But no one did. It made him angry.

“Why isn’t anyone asking to be tricked?” Jay kicked the gutter.

“Don’t complain; they’re giving us sweets!” Owen grinned, already eating some of the night’s takings.

“Halloween isn’t about the sweets, it’s about scaring people. God, this is lame.”

They got to the end of the road and stood looking at the house on the corner.

“She won’t answer,” Ben said. “She didn’t last year.”

Mrs Lovejoy was an elderly widow, diagnosed as ‘batty’ and ‘off her rocker’ by the neighbourhood kids (and their parents too, truth be told).

“Just ring the doorbell,” Jay said, taking his position out of sight behind the garage.

Ben sighed and did so. To his surprise, Mrs Lovejoy answered almost immediately, as if she’d been waiting to dish out her old sweets to any kid brave enough to ring her doorbell. It’d have been better for everyone if she hadn’t. Especially herself.

“Trick or treat!”

“Ooh, don’t you two look a picture!” the old woman cawed, taking some snack-sized chocolates from the dish on a nearby shelf and dumping them in the sack Owen carried. “Don’t eat them all at once, now.”

“We won’t, thank you very...”

“Roooaaar!” Jay decided to jump out anyway. He’d been dying to all night, and he laughed as he did it. Ben and Owen jumped, and they knew he was there. Mrs Lovejoy gasped. Her eyes bulged.

“Jay, you idiot, that wasn’t funny...”

Jay laughed, and then his smile faltered. Mrs Lovejoy clutched her hand to her chest and choked out short, shallow breaths.

“Mrs Lovejoy... stop screwing around...” But Jay knew as well as anyone that the old lady wasn’t joking. It was etched on his terrified face. “Mrs Lovejoy?”

She fell to the floor and was still.

“Oh crap,” Jay said. “Oh crap.”

* * * * *

“We’ll have to leave her.”

“We can’t leave her!” Ben put both hands to his head. He was suddenly very, very hot.

“She’s dead, isn’t she!” Owen cried until snot came from his nose.

Jay looked over his shoulder. The street was almost completely hidden by the row of trees lining the front garden. “No one can see us. No one needs to know we were here.”

“You killed her!” Ben said.

“She had a heart attack! She was old! It was about time she died.” Jay’s eyes were as wild and feral as a rabid dog’s. “They’ll arrest you, too. You were here with me. They’ll take you away from your mom.”

Owen cried harder.

“Jay...”

“I’m not getting done for this, Ben—they’ll put me inside this time. And everyone will think you’re a murderer too. We have to leave her and tell no one.”

Ben felt his own eyes burning. “I don’t know...”

“Yes. Yes. Promise me. We tell no one.”

And his eyes were so wide and scared and mad that Ben could only nod. “O... okay...” he said.

* * * * *

“Oh no, listen to this, kids.” Their father ruffled the local paper as he said, “Mrs Lovejoy from down the street died of a heart attack last night.”

Ben caught Owen’s eye, feeling his stomach knot. She’d come to him last night, you see. Crawled across the carpet and grabbed his ankle. “Jay will try to blame you for it all...” she’d said. “You can’t trust him...”

The cereal suddenly tasted like cold gruel and sank uncomfortably in his stomach. “A heart attack?”

“Yes. It says she phoned for an ambulance complaining of severe chest pains just before 9 o’clock last night, but she was already dead when they got there.”

The words punched Ben clean in the stomach. “She phoned for an ambulance?” His voice came out muffled and sounded like it belonged to someone else.

“Yes. That’s what it says. Are you alright?”

Oh Jesus, she was still alive when we left her... He closed his eyes, hearing Owen stifle a sob and dash from the table. Oh Jesus Christ of Nazareth... we might have saved her...

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The Paradox of (False) Consolation

28/10/2014

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Richard Dawkins, the evolutionary biologist and atheist, recently tweeted the following question:

Which is worse of these 2 terrible reasons for believing something? A: "It makes me feel good." B: "It's what my family all believe."

I am a huge fan of Richard Dawkins, both for his contribution to science and his promotion of reason and rationality. But I would argue that there are times when it is not only 'okay' but also perfectly rational to believe A.

David Hume said "A wise man proportions his belief to the evidence", and certainly on the face of it believing something without evidence just because it makes you feel good is irrational.

However, life is hard. Imagine a severely depressed man who is suicidal, who has found no relief through counselling or medicine - it would be perfectly rational for him to want to alleviate his suffering, would it not? And if he 'found God', and that gave his life meaning and purpose and consolation (albeit false consolation), lifting him out of his depression and literally 'saving' him - i.e. if believing in God alleviated his suffering, would that not be perfectly rational?

Believing in something just because it makes you feel good is irrational, but wanting to feed good is rational. A man can believe the most ridiculous things - that Joseph Smith found golden plates inscribed by God buried in a hill, for instance, or that an alien overlord Xenu threw human souls into volcanoes - but if believing ridiculous things makes your life worth living (and as an atheist and materialist myself, and a firm believer that this life is all we're going to get) well, you gotta try and live happy, right?

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Dr Eben Alexander and his visions

24/10/2014

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The Daily Mail recently published an article by Dr Eben Alexander - the neurologist whose 2012 book 'Proof of Heaven' topped the bestseller lists. Dr Eben Alexander wrote about how he had visited heaven whilst in a coma. He says he did so whilst his brain was "completely unplugged", and that his "inner self existed, in defiance of all the known laws of science." I realise he wants to sell his book, but why does he assume his vision happened when his brain was 'unplugged'? Isn't it hugely more likely that it happened as he started to regain consciousness, when his brain had been 'plugged back in'?

It's also very telling that he says he was "nominally a Christian", and that his experience of heaven is exactly what a Christian would expect. A luscious paradise filled with happy dead people. His vision sounds like a lucid dream, where "everything is more real - less dense, yet at the same time more intense."

And then he mentions how the woman in heaven turned out to be the sister he'd never known. Well, okay. Maybe he really did visit heaven and his sister Betsy. Or maybe the woman in his vision just happened to look a little bit like her. But remember it was four months after his vision that he saw the photo of his sister, so perhaps he just remembers the woman as his sister because he wants it to be true.

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14 Reputable UK Children's Publishers Accepting Unsolicited Submissions

7/8/2014

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The vast majority of book publishers only accept submissions via a literary agent. However, there are still a few small/medium-sized publishers accepting unsolicited submissions, and the ones below publish children's and YA titles.

It is perfectly acceptable to send simultaneous submissions (that is, the same manuscript to several publishers at the same time), but it's good manners to mention it in your cover letter. Unless specified, the publisher wants a short cover letter, synopsis (NOT a blurb- a plot outline) and a sample (usually 3 chapters). Check individual guidelines thoroughly.

Age ranges for children's fiction are usually divided thus:

Board books/picture books/easy readers - for toddlers and young children up to about the age of 7 or 8. Usually contain about 1,500- 2,000 words at 32 pages. And obviously contain pictures!

Transition books/chapter books - for ages 7-10. Fewer pictures, more text divided into 3/4-page chapters. Usually around 50-60 pages in length.

Middle grade/junior fiction - for ages 8-12. More complicated themes and sub-plots. 100-150 pages.

Young adult (YA) - for ages 12+. A wide variety of genres and themes. Lengths can be anything from 200-400 pages.

NOTE: Avoid Pegasus Publishers - don't be fooled by their professional-looking website; this outfit is a vanity press in disguise. ie. Although they make no mention of author fees on their website, countless writers report that they are offered contracts which include them having to hand over thousands of pounds. No reputable publisher (or agent) charges fees.

ANDERSEN PRESS - Picture books to YA fiction, up to 75,000 words. Hard copy only. 2-3 month response.

BLOOMSBURY SPARK - Publishes ebooks only. YA fiction 25,000-60,000 words. Email submissions. Will not hear back unless interested.

BUSTER BOOKS - No picture books. Email or postal submissions.

CARINA - Run by Harlequin UK. Publishes ebooks only. Young adult. Any genre and any length. Response 3-4 weeks.

CURIOUS FOX - Ages 8+. No picture books. Email submissions. Will not hear back unless interested.

DAVID FICKLING - Currently closed - check back for submission guidelines.

FAT FOX BOOKS - Ages 3-14. Any genre. Email submissions. Will not hear back unless interested (3 months)

FLEDGLING PRESS - Email submissions. 6 weeks response.

HOT KEY BOOKS - Email full manuscript. 3 months response

INSIDE POCKET - All age ranges. Email submissions.

MOGZILLA - Ages 4-15 (45,000-75,000 words rough guide). Email or post submissions.

MYRMIDON - Currently closed - check back for submission guidelines.

PHOENIX YARD - Ages 3-13. All genres. Email subs only.

STRIDENT - Currently closed, check back later. 7+ to YA. Email a proposal only in the first instance.

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The Origins of Christmas

23/12/2013

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Religious scholars generally agree that Jesus was not, in fact, born on December 25th.

The Bible never mentions the date of his birth, focussing more on the importance of his death. Although it does leave a few clues: we’re told that on the night the shepherds were “keeping watch over their flock by night” (Luke 2:8). This suggests that the date falls during the period of lambing when the flocks were kept in the fields, usually between spring and autumn. But certainly not mid-winter.

Perhaps it is significant as to when Jesus’ birthday was ‘decided’. The leaders of the Church chose the date of December 25th in the early fourth century, and the first Feast of the Nativity was held in Rome in 336AD. The Church at this time was one with the Roman state and Emperor. Constantine legalised Christianity in 313, making it the religion of the state in 324 after defeating Licinius. The Church became a political outfit backed by the Imperial patron. Before this time the date of Jesus Christ’s birth had never been of importance to the average Christian, who worshiped in secret in Church-houses.

Almost half a century before the legalisation of Christianity, Roman Emperor Aurelian inaugurated Dies Natalis Solis Invicti, “the birthday of the unconquered sun” in reverence of the sun god Sol. Naturally, the date of the celebration fell around the time of the winter solstice when the days were about to get longer again. Sol (and other solar deities, including the Persian god Mithras) celebrated birthdays on the 25th December.

This is hardly a coincidence; the Church leaders under Constantine thought long and hard about connecting Jesus’ birth with a well-established Pagan festival.

The reason appears quite simple. Christianity, already fast becoming the majority religion of the Roman Empire, could convert Pagans if their winter solstice festival became a celebration of Jesus’ birth instead. Christ was already being described as the light of the world by then anyway – it seemed a natural step. Of course, Christianity didn’t only adapt Dies Natalis Solis Invicti – Yule was a Pagan festival from Scandinavia in late December in honour of Thor, and this too was incorporated. Yule logs are still seen at Christmas time today.

It may seem ironic that Christmas is an amalgamation of Pagan festivals, though the evidence is strong. The Catholic Encyclopaedia of 1908 noted that the Sol Invictus festival has a “strong claim on the responsibility” for the date of Christ’s birth. Indeed, Jehovah’s Witness’s don’t celebrate Christmas at all for that reason.

But whatever its roots, Christmas is still a time for giving, for family, for love and peace. If anything, it only makes it more interesting to think that over 1700 years ago there were similar celebrations concerning the birth of Pagan sun gods.

Merry Christmas.

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Preparing Your Initial Submission To Agents/Publishers

26/10/2013

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Agents/editors usually ask for the same three things from novelists: cover letter, synopsis, first few chapters. It goes without saying that you should always check their submission guidelines on their websites (almost all have them). And a lot now seem to accept email submissions, which is a happy development.

Cover Letter
It's almost always a 'cover' letter rather than a 'query' letter; few ask you to submit a proposal without any accompanying prose. But anyway, there's hardly any difference between the two. Instead of 'Please find attached a synopsis and the first three chapters', for a query you'd put 'I'd be delighted to send you the synopsis and first three chapters at your request'. Everything else is the same.

You need:

- Your premise in tagline form. As short as you can make it. A couple of sentences at most.
- The TITLE, word count, genre and target audience (yes, your title should be in CAPS).
- A short blurb, only a few sentences long, expanding your premise and introducing your main character(s).
- A short biography. Include any writing-related experience. Mention if you have a good social platform following (blog, twitter etc.)
- A few publishing credits. Seriously. If you don't have any, get some. Write a few short stories and submit them. Getting published on a non-paying ezine blog still counts. It shows the editor you're serious and your writing is of a certain standard. And it's the first thing that'll catch their eye when they open your email/envelope - a list in the middle of the page that can only be publishing credits. Sets you above 90% of the rest, gives you an advantage before they've even started reading. Get some.

Please try and find someone to address your cover letter to personally. Many agencies have agent bios where you can find the most suitable agent and address your submission directly to them.

After that, you introduce your novel. There are different ways of working this, but I'd recommend opening with the premise tagline, then the TITLE/word count/genre/audience, and then the blurb. Follow up with "I have attached the synopsis and first three chapters for your consideration" (or whatever they ask for) and end with your bio and publishing credits. I'll say again: those credits will really help you.

Synopsis
Some writers seem to hate writing their synopsis. This is the best way I've found. After your novel is finished, you read it through, summing up each chapter in a couple of sentences as you go. You'll end up with a detailed plot outline (that probably looks quite different to the one you planned in the very beginning, if that's how you work!) Cut out everything that isn't to do with the main plot. Your synopsis should only be two pages, maximum (double-spaced!). That's only 650 words or so. So yes, you'll most likely have to play around with your sentences, cutting and cropping to avoid having precious lines taken up with only a word or two. In your novel, white space doesn't matter - is good, in fact - but in your synopsis you don't have enough to waste.

Also, try to cut out as many characters as possible, leaving only the main ones. You want to mention as few names as possible, or else the editor will have trouble keeping track of who's who. For instance, in my synopsis, instead of calling Lorna's father by his name, ALAN, I always referred to him as 'Lorna's father'. And yes, the first time you mention someone by name you put it in CAPS.

The most important thing is to include all twists and turns, including the ending. The synopsis I wrote for my first novel, ten years back when I was 16, didn't say how it ended, because it was a twist, and I didn't want to 'ruin' it for the editor. So it wasn't a synopsis. It was a blurb. And of course, no editor ever asked to read it all anyway.

Sample Chapters
Of course, your chapters are the most important thing. Yet if you haven't written a good cover letter and synopsis the editor won't even read this far. So if they do get here, for God's sake make it good. As good as it can be. Don't submit anything until you're sure you can't improve it. And the opening needs to be your very best. You need a main character in a tricky situation, from the very get go. We need to care, we need to be intrigued, we need to want to read on. We need a hook.

Don't open with scene-setting, or narration, or exposition, or describing the lovely fantastical city, or the weather... Throw us in the deep end, right in the middle of the story rather than the beginning.

Then perhaps we'll read on. And maybe an editor will too.

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