Explaining death to a child is one of the hardest conversations a parent can have.

For generations, many families relied on religious beliefs to offer comfort: a heaven, a next life, or a reunion with loved ones. But today, more parents than ever identify as non-religious, and those explanations may not feel authentic to them.
That doesn’t make the conversation any less important—it just means we need to find language that is both honest and gentle.

Start with what they know. Young children understand the world through patterns and comparisons. You can use nature as a guide:

• Leaves grow green in spring, turn gold in autumn, then fall and become part of the earth again.
• Flowers bloom, fade, and return the next year from new seeds.
• Day turns to night, night to day.

This helps children see that change, endings, and renewal are part of life’s cycle.

One of the simplest non-religious ways to explain death is to compare it to the time before we were born.

You can say: “Before you were born, you weren’t anywhere—you didn’t feel sad or scared, you simply didn’t exist yet. When we die, it’s like going back to that. But while we’re alive, we get to love, play, laugh, and make memories.”

This explanation is honest, age-appropriate, and free from fear. Children find comfort in knowing that the people (and pets) they love live on in their memories. You might say: “When we remember the happy moments we shared with someone, in a way they’re still with us.”

This can also be an opportunity to teach values: the kindness we show in life is what people will remember when we’re gone.

I recently wrote a picture book on the subject, What Comes After, because I realised most modern parents—especially those raising young children today—are not religious. But there were very few picture books about death that explained it in a way that was truthful, gentle, and comforting without relying on an afterlife.

The story follows Little Cub, who spends one last evening with his Grandpapa Bear. Through their conversation, Grandpapa explains life and death by comparing it to nature and to the time before we are born. It’s a warm, tender tale that encourages kindness, memory, and living fully.

My hope is that What Comes After will help parents have one of life’s hardest conversations with honesty and love—and give children the tools to understand and cope with loss.

What Comes After is available now on Amazon as a beautifully illustrated paperback for £5.99.
Order your copy here and give your child a gentle, non-religious introduction to life’s biggest mystery.

You can hear the pieces included in my new series for kids aged 5+ below.